Everything seems like it's falling apart. & on top of everything my step dad took my straightner, curling iron, and keyboard. He is trying to say I left it on, but I checked. He just doesn't like me because my mom ignores him for me. I am in trouble for not getting a Idaho driver's license yet since I moved from Wyoming for school. I have to pay for school & find a job. I need to be 107 by my brother's graduation. I have a new bf who is amazing & really thought I was perfect but I can't help being self concious & socially awkward around him.:( My ex fiance is treating me like some kind of whore just because he says my new bf has "abs like the rockies". My step dad hating me is affecting my mom's marriage and idk what to do. I just want to be 107, my degree, be a vet tech, an apartment, somewhere I belong with a family. Right now it feels like that's not going to ever happen. This may sound dramatic but I feel like I'm drowning, fighting for air, and no one is going to save me. I'm not so sure I can save myself this time & I'm tired of fighting alone and for everyone else, I wish someone would fight along side me or even for me. I am always there for everyone else in my life, but where are they when I need them?

Why don't I quit? Because nothing hurts more thanks being me. The hunger/starvation hurts, feeling like you are going to pass out, trouble breathing, & heart problems. But the dissapointment, never knowing, feeling not good enough-hurts so much more. I would rather die than feel that way. That is why even if it kills me I will keep going. I'm sorry if you don't understand.

today I don't feel pretty, but my friend sage is & everyone says we look like twins.

I hope so..

my favorite thinsporation:hilary